All
Posted January 17, 2012
by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
We should all be deeply disturbed. Whether we are parents or not, young kids or teens --- this is a collective failure and we all have a role in addressing it.
The recent rash of bullying stories, an increasing number of which have ended in the worst possible outcome, is both sad and cause for serious reflection.
The focus on the bully and victim are definitely merited. The role of technology (social media, mobile apparatus', etc.) also have a key role. But how about the parents? What role does parenting play in this scenario?
Seems to me I don't hear much about that. 
The decision of a bully to exert power, influence, coercion, peer pressure --- whatever on someone else is a conscious choice? This is a basic knowing right vs. wrong issue. It's also, in my opinion, a learned behaviour. Kids, by and large, don't naturally know how to behave in this way.
How much of this can be traced back to permissive parenting, I wonder. You know the kind where the kids seems to call the shots, and the parents are standing on the sidelines mostly being told what to do.
There seems to be a fear of discipline among many of today's parents. Discipline that calls for firm, fair, follow-through. Of course it's not easy. It's one I struggle with on a regular basis. Does the punishment fit the misdeed, it is too harsh, too soft, unfair?
Having rules and following-through on those rules have an incredibly important role to play in overall discipline and the behaviour in our children. It should teach self-control, the understanding of limits, accountability for one's actions, responsibility for a given outcome and the understanding of right from wrong. However, when the follow-through falls short, so too does the learning of all these critical lessons.
Parents who swoop in and save their kids time and again from a negative situation are doing more harm than good. That pattern of behaviour will more than likely lead to kids who feel a sense of entitlement, who don't understand what it means to take their bumps and lumps and who ultimately end up wielding power over their parents.
A few parents I've spoken to, whose kids have been bullied, have repeated a familiar theme --- the parents of the bully 1-had no idea, 2-remain in denial about their kids' behaviour.
The apple truly doesn't fall far from the tree. Kids learn what they see, they tend to model behaviour they are witness to. Over-protective parents may not realize that their controlling behaviour is akin to bullying.
It all starts at home.
Posted October 3, 2011
by Stephen Gosewich, Dad blogger
I used to think that homework was a rite of passage that every child had to go through.
When I was a kid it was assigned and it had to get completed or there would be some pretty serious hell to pay!
But never did I look at homework as being something that would benefit my ability to learn or better comprehend something. To me, homework was a necessary evil. I could not do anything fun until homework was completed. I couldn't go outside after school and play or after dinner on a beautiful spring evening to hang out with my buddies on the block.
Projects were even worse because not only did I have to create a written masterpiece but I also had to create a visual presentation that would have to knock my teacher's socks off (something more than just a bunch of magazine cut-outs glued to a piece of bristol board).
Fast-forward a million years later and here I am...a parent of two young children and now I have to act like the enforcer and make sure that my own kids complete their homework before anything else. Not only do they have to complete it on time...but they must understand what they are doing.
Now that we are well into the new school year and things have returned to normal, I have had the lovely opportunity and pleasure to sit down with my younger daughter as she struggles through her homework - complete with tears and tons of frustration.
As she starts off Grade 5 with a thud, I am seeing the quantity of homework increasing with each passing day.
School Board rules prohibit the amount of work to be sent home. Yet, I seem to be spending several hours with my daughter as she struggles with each question and I equally struggle helping her find each answer.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and I can say with total confidence that my two daughter's lack of math-smarts come directly from me (although I am told by my wife that she struggled with math in school too...makes me feel so much better).
I really don't get the point of homework....never have. I don't think that homework measures a child's ability
to comprehend something because more times than not, a child just really wants to get through the homework because they know on the other side of that homework lies playing with friends, going on the computer and watching TV. Their motivation isn't to learn...its to complete.
What would really happen to our children if teachers did not assign any homework? What if all the material covered in class was reviewed in class and that the only work that was brought home was for purposes of preparing for a quiz or a test (or these days, a "quest")? What if the only work that kids had to complete at home were for special projects, essays or other presentations? Would our kid's marks or overall comprehension falter in any way?
While I don't own a crystal ball, I can tell you that our children would be less stressed and would have more time
to be kids and pursue other kinds of extra-curricular activities that are often sacrificed because of school work. Our teacher told us that he likes to give daily homework assignments that should take about 45-60 minutes to complete. On top of that, he assigns a larger chunk of homework on Fridays to be returned the following week. He claims that this should add another 3-4 hours of homework weekly. By my calculations (remember, I am a fantastic mathematician) that would mean that in order for my daughter to complete all of her homework on a weekly basis, she should be spending 60-90 minutes per day, EVERY day...including weekends. I wonder if he works on Friday or Saturday nights or does he like to kick-back after a long work week with a "cold one" or a nice glass of red wine on a Friday night? Not that I am encouraging alcoholic
consumption by a 10 year old...but I think children also need some time to decompress after a long week.
Educators are also forgetting about the family. In most modern families, both parents (assuming there are two), are
working. So, from the moment the bell rings at the end of the school day to the moment our children lay their heads down to go to sleep, the intensity around most households is feverish. Parents are in a rush to get home, most times coming into the house feeling a bit grumpy because of the days events or a nasty rush-hour drive home. Then, the mad-dash to meal prep..juggling dinner preparation and making lunches for the next day with assistance to the kids on subjects or topics that they have not considered in 30 years (to say I am rusty on this stuff is an understatement). If we expect our kids to focus on their school work, how can they really expect us to give them our undivided attention when we are running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off?
I don't really know if I have the "balls" to actually confront my daughter's teacher, principal and
Superintendent to tell them that we, as a family are boycotting homework. But it would be kind of "anti-establishment"...don't you think?
But, who needs the detention?
Posted September 30, 2011
by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
Pure survival are often words used by parents when describing a particular decision made at a given time involving their kids.
It's not always pretty, it just happens to be at that specific time and in that place. And "it" may never happen again.
That ranges from taking kids to creative spots when they've gotta go! Or getting an underage, yet older sibling to take care of younger brothers or sisters, in a pinch. Or in the case of one mom --- lightning her load --- literally.
During a candid conversation with several parents recently, a single mom of four revealed that when one of her kids was in his teens, 14 or so, that she taught him how to do laundry. Everyone looked at her in utter shock?
A 14-year-old doing laundry? She must have been speaking in another language. She went on to explain that juggling a job, 4 kids, a household and life, she had to divide and conquer chores and duties. Pure survival for her meant teaching her teenage son how to wash the family's clothes.
Why is that such a foreign concept? It's not like doing laundry takes superhuman skill and intellect. Was it his age or the fact that he was a boy that left everyone so bemused. Is it not a life skill that he will need to know one day?
Funnily enough the laundry lesson came up in another conversation with several parents this week. This time a mom of two girls mentioned that she taught her kids how to do their laundry around 12 or 13 years of age.
Brilliant, simply brilliant! Kudos to those parents for resisting the urge to do things that kids can do for themselves. Sorting, soap, a couple of buttons and they're off. No biggie.
The biggie is what they are learning through the laundry task. That there is a process to cleaning clothes -- one that involves time, organization, effort. That dirtying clothes have a consequence at one point that must be dealt with. That if they are down to their last underwear, there is hope. A solution is not too far off.
If teaching laundry skills 101 is too big a leap, then baby steps make sense. Sorting, folding and delivering clothes to their rightful owners are tasks kids as young as 2 or 3 can participate in without too much supervision.
Who knows, it may just be what the doctor ordered to nip the 'clothes all over the room and on the floor' crisis that many of us parents face. And in tandem, it makes sense for parents who insist on doing everything themselves, denying kids the opportunity to think, act and take care of themselves.
Here's to laundry life lessons!
Posted September 21, 2011
by Stephen Gosewich, Dad Blogger
There we were, the four of us,
around the table eating dinner. Dinnertime seems to be one of the few times
during the day when we, as a family unit, are together...undistracted from the
outside (other than telemarketers calling our house at the dinner hour). We are
able to talk about each other's day and get caught up.
It also seems to be a time when my
wife and I continue to be vigilant with our children to ensure that everything
that they are served is eaten off their plate.
Just like many parents, dinner hour
starts off frantically as we scramble to get dinner prepared while the kids are
working on their homework in the other room...constantly yelling out to us for
help when they get stuck on a question or are too lazy to answer it on their
own.
Once the food is plated and on the
table, we all gather round and chow down. My wife and I try our very best to
give our children healthy, nutritious and tasty meals; which usually involves a
protein and veggies of some kind.
My younger daughter, to her credit,
seems to enjoy pretty much everything we prepare with a few exceptions. My
older daughter, on the other hand, is a ver
y picky eater. Certain things she
loves and asks for often (but how many times can we make her steak or shrimp or
hamburgers in a row?). Other things, like vegetables and fish are not as
desirable and its painful to watch her attempt to eat.
This particular meal was
vegetable-laden (a beef stir fry) and Molly was pushing the food around on her
plate with her fork, pretending to eat. Instead of taking forkfuls of food, she
picked out the stuff she liked (the beef) and left behind everything else, the
veggies....what's the point?
My wife and I and our younger
daughter finished up, cleaned up our dishes, loaded the dishwasher and left
Molly at the table...as she was still pushing her food around. It was then that
I told her that all the healthy, nutritious food she was pushing around she was
taking for granted. I asked to imagine not eating for days. I asked to imagine
having an empty belly...not having variety....not having access to various
kinds of basic foods that we in Canada are fortunate enough to have easy access
to.
I am not writing this to ramble on
about food...because all it will do is make me hungry and lord knows, I don't
need to nosh on something right now
.
But I am talking about taking things
(and people) for granted. How many times have you complained about the quality
of your cell service in certain areas of the city as you experience a dropped
call? How many times have you gone into a clothing store stocked to the rafters
with product only to say that you couldn't find anything to where. How many
times have you gone into a convenience store wondering which brand of bottled
water you were going to buy? How many times did you complain that in our 300
channel universe that there is nothing good to watch on TV?
More importantly, how many times did
you go to bed mad at your spouse/partner? How many times did you forget to say
I love you to your chil
dren? How many excuses did you make up to not see your
child perform at a school function because you were too lazy to re-arrange a
business meeting?
The older I get the more I realize
not only how short life is, but also how important relationships our as we move
through our life. I have said before that we are often our ugliest around
people we love and care for the most. How stupid is that?
No one can predict what is coming
around the corner. No one knows what will happen tomorrow. In all probability,
the day's events will unfold in a similar way to the day we are living right
now..but you will never know for sure.
If you are thinking to yourself that
you are one of the many (myself included) who often takes things for
granted...stop.
When you go outside today..take a
look around. Look at the sky (regardless of its color), look at the trees and
flowers. Slow down and take it all in.
When you get home...be thankful for
the abundance in your life. Appreciate your spouse/partner...tell them how much
you love them. Finally, be with your kids...make each moment with them
memorable. You co-created them, they are a part of you. Make them feel that
way.
Move forward in your life never
taking anything for granted.
Posted September 19, 2011
by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
There are no shortage of disturbing stories in the news on any given day. Some more so than others. This is one of them.
A well-loved teen girl/model student who knew her male friend was depressed and suicidal. She did all the right things --- told her parents, told the guidance councillor. The end was something no one could have predicted. An alleged murder, then suicide. Two families reeling. A community in shock. (Full article below)
Communication in any family is paramount. Unfortunately, given the speed of life today, most of us perhaps don't have the time to dedicate to meaningful, consistent communication, especially with kids as they get older --- like teens, who tend to withdraw naturally.
Most teens would likely not see their parents as the first person to confide in. But they need to have options, especially with the range of issues thrust on young people these days --- from bullying, cyberbulling, peer pressure, relationship-angst, social media concerns, depression...the list goes on.
This time of year, especially, can be a tricky one in many families. The transition to back-to-school is fertile ground for anxiety, stress and worry. For kids and their parents alike.
In seeking out experts to speak on this issue, I've run across plenty of sage advice, but one thought in particular that most parents and kids might overlook. Two words. BE PATIENT.
We all want everything to work out smoothly from the get-go whether it's fitting in, liking a course, being accepted by new roommates at university, getting used to a new schedule, understanding a new course, accepting an empty nest, etc.. However, in our present world of instant gratification and band-aid parenting, it's often hard to be patient. We want to fix it instantly or at the very least minimize the discomfort no matter how trivial the circumstance.
Patience teaches so much. More than most of us understand. It allows both parents and children to appreciate the process, accept the highs and lows and learn from them. It's not always fun, nor is it easy, but it is an important teaching tool no matter what the age.
Communicating with children often requires huge helpings of patience. And when kids are in their tween and teen years, second and third helpings come in handy.
In my interview with a counsellor from KidsHelpPhone, it became abundantly clear that many of the thousands of kids who access this free, anonymous and confidential service do so because they need someone to listen to them. Someone with the patience to listen carefully and not judge.
Who knows what might have saved this clearly disturbed teen boy from taking his own life and that of his best friend. He seemed to leave a trail of fairly obvious hints as to his sad and depressed state --- even on his Facebook page. His best friend, the girl he allegedly killed, seemed to listen to his pleas for help. What's truly sad is that when she sounded the alarm for him---no one seemed to listen.
Related articles:
No more tomorrows for teens in one-sided romance
Helping Kids Transition at School: KidsHelpPhone Interview
Posted September 15, 2011
by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
The thought had never occurred to us. Not for a second. Why would it? Neither my husband nor I attended private elementary schools. We both, however, went to private high schools. Still it was foreign territory when we made our foray into the debate --- private versus public - when our first son was about to enter junior kindergarten. That was 9 years ago. He is in his second week of high school now, also private.
It's not a decision that comes easily. And I'm increasingly of the opinion that people will launch themselves into debt --- shallow or deep --- to send their kids to private school.
Why? Why make such a seemingly irresponsible economic choice?
The truth is --- there is little choice for many parents. All three of our kids have been in private schools at one point or another. Since moving to a different city in a new province a few years ago, the choices have widened, so that now only one attends an independent school.
There will be many parents this month agonizing over this very question. The back-to-school period illicits all kinds of emotions, analysis, and new research --- private vs. public may be foremost among them for many families.
When we made the leap, after careful consideration, it was with this thought process in mind. Exposure. That's it -- all nice and tidy in one single word. We wanted out kids to be exposed to a variety of things (art, music, gym, library, etc.). The very things that are being shred in many public schools --- as trustees and councils and everyone and their dog debate costs and belt-tightening measures.
Why education is not everyone's number one priority is beyond me. A better educated, more knowledgeable society would likely lead to more healthy, engaged, vibrant, and empowered people.
Which brings us to getting what you pay for. Thus, private school.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are many issues of concern in private schools, but likely less than in the public system.
We wanted to foster our children's love of learning from a young age. Many people told us we were crazy. "Save your money for when they go to high school," we were told.
We listened, considered, analyzed, then went ahead with choosing a private school for kindergarten.
While there are plenty of exceptions (weak private schools, and strong public schools), the sheer explosion of private schools of all stripes would suggest they are becoming increasingly popular.
Teachers are better paid, the staff more accountable, facilities newer and better --- or so all the stories go in private schools. At the end of the day it's a huge sacrifice for any family, economically. And of course there are no guarantees. Just the knowledge and belief that you are doing the absolute best for your kids.
Here's hoping they realize it.
Posted September 14, 2011
by Stephen Gosewich, Dad blogger
As was the case with millions of people around the world on September 11, 2011, I spent some time not only remembering the tragic and horr
ific events of September 11, 2001 but also watching the various news channels who were airing tributes and re-broadcasts of the actual live newscasts that took place that day. I also watched a brilliant documentary that was created by a team of French brothers who originally were making a film to chronicle the life of a "Pro-b" (a
new firefighter) that turned into a very powerful and highly emotional documentary of a fire station's involvement with the events as they unfolded that day.
I was sitting in the living room of our house and my older daughter came in to ask me what I was watching. I told her and asked her if she would like to watch with me. I had reminded myself that Molly was only 3 when the terrible day took place. Back then, I was not burdened with the need to explain to her what was happening because she was too young to comprehend it.
But now, she is 13...soon to be 14. She is old enough and mature enough to start knowing about the darker sides of life.
We sat together, munching on some popcorn and I began to provide color commentary about where I was that day and what I was feeling and what we were doing as a family. She asked me questions
about what she was seeing...her beautiful brown eyes glued to the television screen.
There were horrific images and disturbing sounds of people jumping from the towers and the sound of their bodies as they made contact with the ground and images of what looked like an apocalypse; things that my daughter had ever only really seen in movie theatres when we reminded her that they were Hollywood-made and totally fictional.
This was the real deal.
I encouraged her to ask me any questions that she might have...after all, how does a young person comprehend a history-making event like 9/11? How does her mind process it?
No surprise...later that night she woke up around midnight from a bad dream. She wound up sleeping on the floor next to our bed and eventually made her way back to her room for the rest of her sleep.
While there are many amazing things to witness and celebrate about life...there are unfortunately, many other things that we must struggle through as well. As parents, we always try to protect our children from those aspects of life...from violent images on television, from inappropriate language, from getting involved with the wrong kinds of people that might expose our children to bad things, from having to deal with the loss of a loved one.
At what point do we, as parents, begin to expose our children to these kinds of images and events? We can't protect them forever...they have to, at some point, realize that part of living includes being exposed to
or becoming aware of these kinds of human events.
I emphasized to my daughter the
importance of not being afraid...not restricting any aspect of her life for fear that something horrible might happen. I reminded her that her mother and I are always around to answer or help explain things to her and that fear or anxiety are emotions that are unavoidable but are totally controllable by maintaining a positive and optimistic outlook towards life. I also reminded her about the importance of family and relationships and never going to sleep angry or never taking others for granted.
I reminded her of a lot that afternoon.
There are far greater awesome things
about life then there are bad things. But, with the good..sometimes comes the bad.
As for my 10 year old, she had no interest in watching any of these television shows or seeing these images. I never asked her if she wanted to watch...she made it abundantly clear by her absence that she was much happier making bracelets from embroidery string and watching Family TV then watching coverage of the anniversary of September 11th.
As we move past the anniversary of this event, chances are, my 13 year old has moved passed it as well. Unfortunately, there are many who are living that day over and over as if it happened yesterday. I wish for those people that they are able to find inner peace...to know that as a society, we will all remember them, their innocence, their greatness and that they will never be forgotten.
Stephen Gosewich is an aspiring enlightened male. While not blogging, he spends his weekdays as a commercial real estate professional, and all other times with his wonderfully supportive wife and two very active and inspiring daughters. He lives in Toronto and enjoys family time, pop culture, spinning up a storm and perfecting his downward dog.
Posted September 9, 2011
by Stephen Gosewich, Dad Blogger
Congratulations! You did it! Pour yourself a very big glass of your favorite wine and celebrate!
You made it through the first week of school.
Isn't amazing how quickly we adapt to change?
Getting back into the routine of the kids being back at school is a lot like getting on a bicycle after being off it for a long time; your body just remembers what to do.
Here we are at the end of the first week of school and once the initial anticipation of school was behind us, it was like the kids had been going to school all along (which, maybe is not a bad thing. I have heard rumblings about school all year round with shorter breaks in the summer).
Your body quickly remembered what it was like to get up at its normal hour...proceed to the kid's rooms to get them
moving...get them dressed..get them breakfast...get their lunches prepared and be at school in time for the first bell.
I have been taking my younger daughter to school, since we have decided to pull her out of daycare (mostly at her request)..meaning there is no before or after-school care for her. So, she lingers a bit more at home now (while I am still working from home) and we then proceed to casually stroll around the corner to her school with lots of time to spare. When she meets up with her best friend, I usually say my goodbyes and return home to start my work day.
Parents are at the school...dressed in their work-duds...and seem to have smiles on their faces even though they appear to look rushed. They know they are back in the "zone" and that the slowed pace of the summer has given them just the right amount of energy and calm to get through the next few months until we reach our next break...Christmas holidays.
School supplies and requests for stuff by our kids have eased...they seem to have everything they need...for now. So, we parents are now at the stage where we can settle back into the old routine of school and all that it entails..including such things as after-school programs and extra-curricular activities on the weekends (my older daughter is starting basketball in October).
The weather has turned cool...like a light-switch has been turned off to signify that summer is really over and there seem to be little distractions reminding us of summer (other than fading suntans).
I have said in prior blogs that the end of summer and Labor Day always makes me feel a certain way...I get this strange feeling that I think stems from my own childhood...when summer was ending and back-to-school was beginning. Things just started to feel different. The intensity of the sun didn't feel like summer, the nights became cooler, the sun began to set sooner...unlike the days in June and July when the sun seemed to never set and I could play outdoors with friends until 9pm. But, once I got back into the routine of school...everything always seemed to get better.
So, congratulations on getting through the first week. You knew you could do it - you probably just didn't want to. But, as we head into the first weekend after the return to the normal routine, just remember...it all starts again next week!
Stephen Gosewich is an aspiring enlightened male. While not blogging, he spends his weekdays as a commercial real estate professional, and all other times with his wonderfully supportive wife and two very active and inspiring daughters. He lives in Toronto and enjoys family time, pop culture, spinning up a storm and perfecting his downward dog.
Posted September 6, 2011
"Phew!"....
I get it. You have probably just dropped your child (children) off at school for their first day back and you find yourself, all of a sudden, in silence. After two months of summer holidays, things are now back to normal.
But there is a calm that has come over you as you begin to settle in to the routine that you were desperately seeking your way through before the summer holiday. At that time you were dying to get to the end of the school year so that you could slow your pace down and be able to enjoy some summer holiday time with family. Sick of packing school bags...sick of making sandwiches...sick of struggling through homework...sick
of the constant pressure of always having timelines and reminding your kids to do things all the time.
Two months have gone by and the last two weeks of summer holiday have probably felt like an eternity because most summer camp programs came to an end and the kids were at home with you driving you crazy with constant requests to buy stuff for school or to do things because they were bored.
Now...30 minutes after the 9 o'clock school bell rang and you said goodbye to your kids for their first day of school, you are returning to the normal.
If you are back at the office...the silence of fingers on keyboards and muted voices on telephone calls with clients/customers is a beautiful thing. The car ride (in silence....other than the radio blaring or the horn honking because of some moron doing something stupid in front of you) is a beautiful thing. The subway/bus ride crammed with people all listening to their Ipods, is a beautiful thing.
For the next 8-10 hours...the only contact you will have with your children will be in your thoughts. You will be thinking about how they are settling into their new class. What they think of their new teacher? Did they each their lunch? Are they making any new friends....are their old friends still their friends? Did the put on their jacket because it was a chilly start to the school year? But these are just passing thoughts in your mind. Beyond that, you will be amongst your own kind...again.
You will be in a world of adults...having civilized adult conversations with people your own age. Yes, some of these conversations might be stressful (altercations with co-workers or bosses) or rude people at the grocery store or obnoxious people budding in line at Starbucks. But you are in your own element because these people are grown ups. Best part...there will be no interruptions by little voices asking you to get them a drink, to braid their hair or dress up their doll.
I remember when my kids were really small. If it was a particularly challenging weekend (the kids were fighting, one of them was sick...or their demands were creating high amounts of stress for my wife and I), I actually looked forward to Monday morning. We would shuffle the kids off to daycare or school and we would both be on our way to
work...to peace and solace.
Well, the silence that I am now experiencing as I sit at my dining room table banging out this blog is
deafening.
These days, I have been working from home and while the kids were off on programs and camp-related stuff during the summer...invariably, I would hear from them during the course of the day. Not anymore. School doesn't allow cell phone use and unless there is some kind of
emergency and they have to call, I will not see or hear them until at least 3:30 (unless I am at a business meeting).
Shhhh...did you hear that? Neither did I. Why? Because there is nothing to hear...no distractions, no noise...no
whining, no fighting, no crying.
Nothing.
Back to normal.
Posted September 1, 2011
by Stephen Gosewich, Dad blogger
We are all waiting for next Tuesday.
The first day of school and the
first day back to normal.
This week, my wife and I are off and
are dealing with two kids who are waiting for the end of summer, as they know
it, to come to an end.
While it is very nice to not
shave, not wake up at 6:30 in the morning and be able to take nice long walks with my wife every day, we are also trying to keep our kids entertained on a shoestring.
Our youngest daughter, was supposed to spend half days in daycare this week. She is formally finished with daycare at the start of this school year...advocating to my wife and I that she is old enough, mature enough and responsible enough to get home from school on her own. She convinced us with much tears and whining that she didn't want to go to daycare this week..instead wanting to stay home with her mom and dad as we hang and enjoy our week off.
Ok...fine...whatever!!
Our eldest daughter was signed up for Math Camp...a course that was being offered at her new high school. It was a 6 day long math camp. She missed the first three days because she was finishing off with her regular camp where she has been a counselor in training. So, she only had to be brave and attend the Math Camp for three days. Well, day one was painful (according to her). She hated it, loathed it, wanted to be anywhere else but at Math Camp. She went with a friend...so after some conversations with her parents, we all agreed that they would both attend just one more day and that they could play hooky on the last day.
So, now we will have two kids home with us for parts of the day who will want to do something. "Something" invariably requires money being spent. As their parents, we are all "spent out". So we are encouraging play dates with friends...which so far, seems to be working.
Other than day trip to Buffalo later in the week (mostly for lunch at The Cheesecake Factory), we are staying put. This day trip to Buffalo before the end of summer, we have taken for the past 4-5 years with my father-in-law....its a tradition! You can't break tradition.
This has actually been a very good time to clean up rooms and purge months of crap that seems to always accumulate in the house. Two garbage bags in...I am feeling really good...the house feels cleaner...more organized...and the kids feel good about their bedrooms (which they normally complain about for one reason or another).
I don't normally like to hang around, killing time...waiting for something to happen. My dislike for it is a result of getting older, I think.
When we are young, we waste so much time doing nothing. My kids have spent copious amounts of time watching television and playing on the computer this summer. Don't get me wrong, they have also spent lots of time outdoors, running and playing and being with their friends.
However, it is a week like this one, you could call it a "transitional week", when you are caught in that whacky vortex of summer holiday and back to school.
The days still manage to fly by quite quickly and not all of them have been unproductive (hell, I was able to crank out a blog!!). But, waiting around for the first school bell signifying the start of the 2011/2012 school year has some moments of boredom.
I hope I am not alone. I hope there are other parents in a similar situation. If you are just sitting around, waiting....maybe we can wait together? How are you passing the time as we live in this last week of summer before the start of school?
Send me your thoughts...I am waiting!
Stephen Gosewich is an aspiring enlightened male. He spends his weekdays as a commercial real estate professional, and all other times with his wonderfully supportive wife and two very active and inspiring daughters. He lives in Toronto and enjoys family time, pop culture, spinning up a storm and perfecting his downward dog. www.theenlightenedmale.wordpress.com
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