May 2010
Posted May 30, 2010
By Andrea Howick www.whereparentstalk.com
Earlier this month, I had the honour of attending an event organized by a dynamo of a woman. Caroline Codsi has a full plate at her day job in career management. On top of that she finds time to sit on charity boards and mentor young professionals, all while juggling a busy personal life. The event was called "Women on Boards" and it was meant to highlight the under-representation of women on corporate boards of directors. She organized this event because it is of paramount importance to us as women and mothers.
Above: Caroline Codsi and Andrea Howick at the Women on Boards event in Montreal May 3, 2010
Consider these numbers: Women represent 51% of the population, make 70% of the buying decisions and only 12% sit on corporate boards. The goal of the event, attended by150 professional women of all stripes, was to allow for networking and put this issue on the agenda. Because while many of us are accomplished, trained and ambitious, women are still under-represented in the corporate board room.
As women and mothers to an upcoming generation of girls and future leaders, I thought the event and her speech were of critical importance. The below is an excerpt from the speech she gave. Kudos Caroline. Let’s take our place in the board room, ladies!
“Many would agree that gender representation is a valuable ideal, and that it is important that the bodies that provide oversight and direction to our organizations should reflect the diversity of our society. But does the presence of women on an organization’s board measurably impact the organization’s performance?
Of course, economic and organizational research would suggest the answer is yes, it does make a difference to have women onboard. Research has shown a positive impact of women directors on: stakeholder representation; financial measures (including increased sales, valuation, and return on investment); on the organization’s leadership capacity; and on governance effectiveness. There are good and bad directors—both male and female.
Being a good director isn’t about gender. Instead, it’s about bringing an experienced, critical eye to the table to provide good governance and to help the organization mitigate risk. Call to Action for women wanting to contribute as Board Directors:
- Start by enhancing your relevant business expertise—particularly with ownership over a specific P&L. Without significant financial and business acumen, you are far less likely to be a credible candidate for a Board. Enhance your capabilities with governance education
- Enroll in one of several board certification programs and increase your governance savvy.
- Use high probability paths to the corporate board table, emphasizing corporate, entrepreneurial or investment experience—complemented by experiences in large non-profit organizations and government and academic committees
- Make your interests and abilities known by networking with people who are already on corporate boards. Get actively involved in work where your skills will be on display.”
Posted May 28, 2010
By Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
I admit it. I’ve procrastinated myself into paralysis when it comes to summer camp ideas. I have no idea why. We’re usually all done planning and registering by this point.
I scared myself today when I discovered June 1st is next week. Tha t means 3 and a half weeks left of school. What on earth happens after that? Don’t know, still procrastinating!
With a 12, 10 and 6 year-old, all wildly different personalities with varying interests and degrees of energy and excitability – it’s tough.
We’ve gone through summers where camp quickly became more logistical work than regular school. It felt like a drill every morning. Once was enough.
Then we had years where there was very little camp. I was totally exhausted by approximately 9:30am. Once was enough of that.
There was the rather successful experiment of half-day camp, with the extra bonus – my boys could walk home by themselves.
As I continue to wonder why they insist on two months off in the summer, rather than more frequent or longer vacation periods during the school year, I am faced with the mathematical, logistical and brain-melting task of figuring out how to occupy two boys and one girl, while trying to enjoy some down time, and work outside of the home. I’m open to suggestions.
This year, we’ve tossed around the idea of finding a responsible , young, energetic babysitter, who can follow the flow and whims of the children each day. It definitely has tons of potential. The children can sleep in and ease into their day. The babysitter can maybe get them to do a little cranial activity – reading a book or writing a story after breakfast, before they take on whatever activity they want to participate in. And bonus – it is infinitely more cost effective than 3 kids in 3 camps 5 days a week for 2.5 months.
That does it. The decision is made. Enough of the analysis and procrastination. Time to execute!
Anyone know any young, responsible energetic babysitters?!!
Tell us about your summer camp or summer activity ideas: info@whereparentstalk.com
Listen to the Podcast with Author & Summer Camp Expert, Goldie Silverman:
http://www.whereparentstalk.com/podcast/camping-kids-workfamily-balance-...
Posted May 27, 2010
By Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
There seems to be a little baby boom going on among my friends and acquaintances – and the proud parents-to-be couldn’t be more ecstatic, as they should be!
The whole magic of pregnancy complete with the morning sickness, cravings, anxiety and incessant planning is a wondrous time in a couple’s life! And so it should be. I loved that period --- all 3 times --- even though I felt like throwing up more often than not!
There is one observation though that is increasingly becoming a worrisome trend.
How prepared are most expectant parents for the upcoming miracle of birth and the care of a new human being thereafter?
With families living further away from each other, a lack of access to specialized physicians or pre-natal classes, socio-economic factors that prevent proper pregnancy instruction and other obstacles, the education of a pregnant couple seems to be taking a back seat. And that is really too bad considering “parenting doesn’t come with a manual”.
There appears to be more time spent analyzing the latest nifty baby gadget or the adorable wardrobe options than what counts – preparing to take care of a newborn. There seems to be this false belief that learning to care for a newborn comes naturally – after giving birth. WRONG. 
Anyone who asks will always get the same answer from me: Pregnancy is the best time to
get prepared. That time will never come back so use it wisely. There is so much to learn and precious little time to learn it AFTER the baby arrives.
Goodness knows, despite our best intentions, giving birth is a physical and emotional event for which no one can predict the outcome. How will you feel, how long will the recovery take? Will the breastfeeding work or will the bottle have to enter the mix?
NOT TO MENTION the dramatic changes that occur in the couple relationship – good and bad.
Anyone who asks will also get the same answer from me: “you will never learn more about your spouse or partner, than after you have a baby.” It stands to reason, doesn’t it?
Hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, added stress, crying baby, diaper-changing, visitors... the list of changes and things to cope with is endless once a baby enters your life.
What doctors should be telling pregnant women and expectant couples is to GET PREPARED. Save yourself some of that upcoming anxiety. Knowledge is power so empower yourself. Try to learn as much about newborn care BEFORE the baby arrives so you and your spouse can cope together.
Sure the room, the gear, the clothes are important. However, the single most critical thing is to learn how to take care of that new little life. PREpare during PREgnancy.
It’s sage advice that expectant couples should strongly consider – so they can ride out rather than resent the steep learning curve that comes with the arrival of a new bundle of joy.
Related Resource: The Award-winning Baby-Care DVD "Bringing Baby Home"
Posted May 25, 2010
by Andrea Howick www.whereparentstalk.com
It's something no parent wants to think about, let alone live through. Even the words missing + children send a chill down most parents' spine. So we all have to be grateful that there are dedicated people in this world who can not only think about it but indeed face this horror squarely in the face, and make a huge difference in countless lives.
The Missing Children's Network was started 25 years ago today by two heroic women, Marcele Lamarche and the late Susan Armstrong. In their first year, operating out of their car, 8 children were recovered. As a news reporter, I used to cover these stories, and many still haunt me today.
However the Missing Children's Network also focuses on prevention. On teaching parents and kids safety, stranger awareness and coping skills. The number has risen to 675 children returned home. The Network also runs Child ID clinics, which helps families feel safer and sends a powerful message to predators.
Above all, there are those who donate their time and money to make all this possible. An army of tireless volunteers and generous citizens keep this group going. They are the ones who deserve our gratitude and praise. A perfect world wouldn't have an organization like this one...but while we raise our kids and work to make this world a better and safer place, let's help them celebrate 25 years of bringing families hope.
Posted May 19, 2010
By Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
My 12-year-old son floored me last night. "Mom, I know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a chef." Boy those kids say the darndest things, don't they!!
I stepped back and said, "Wow, that's wonderful son," as I secretly began plotting out my plan on how to get him more involved in daily family food preparations!
Truth be told, since I've started working outside of the home for the past few months, I've had to rely on him to help with a few preparations to get dinner started. Since he's the first one home, he gets that honour! So he's been doing things like peeling vegetables, or preparing the pots to steam vegetables, or boiling water for pasta or making a salad dressing - which he did last night!
The road to healthy eating, we've learned over the years, has many lanes.
For years, I've dragged my kids out grocery shopping. Yes, it is more difficult when they're younger. However, the grocery story is a fabulous, rich learning campus for kids (and adults) when it comes to food. The colours, signs, shapes, varieties - it's like a science and nutrition class around the corner.
Now that the kids are older (12, 10 and 6), they have an even greater vested interest in coming grocery shopping with us.
We make a list, which they assist with. They suggest school sandwiches/lunch ideas for the week plus snacks.
They create the list. One of them is responsible for writing it, the other responsible for reading the list in the store,
and the third crosses off the items as they are bought.
While shopping, they are increasingly more interested in reading nutrition labels, etc., (which they learn at school as well) and asking questions about food types and trying new things. Trying news things - hmmm - a wonderful concept unto itself, isn't it!! But I digress!
Getting kids to help with grocery shopping or getting them to make their own sandwiches/lunches the night before or the morning is incredibly important in helping them learn about food and also taking responsibility for their own diet.
The key for parents (we've learned over the years) is to have the patience to show and expose them to whole act of food preparation, menu planning and the fact that what we eat requires thought, organization, fresh ingredients and interest. Once you make that decision, then you have to decide that you will accept that perhaps the sandwich little Johnny makes is not going to look picture-perfect. But he made it, and he'll likely be proud to eat it. And all that is progress and will go a long way in helping them learn about food, eating healthy and ultimately being able to produce a meal by themselves sooner rather than later.
(If we do have a budding chef in the house, then yippee - we look forward to someone else preparing the home-cooked meals here, sooner rather than later!!)
Watch n' Learn Video Recipes:
Salmon Salad
Oven Crunch Fish n' Chips
Simple Chicken Noodle Soup
Posted May 18, 2010
By Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
There are some stories that irk the soul so deeply that they demand an outcry. This is one of them, if ever there was.
While there are plenty of creative people out there who try and succeed in manipulating the unemployment insurance system (for fun, sport, whatever), there is the story of young mother Natalya Rougas who really needs government-paid sickness benefits as she faces a life and death struggle.
Rougas, a 37-year-old married mother of a one-year-old boy is grappling with stage 3 breast cancer, the reality of scheduled a double mastectomy, and the daily challenges of being a mom. She must now add to that daunting list - fighting the government.
To read the complete article in The Toronto Star by Health reporter Theresa Boyle: http://whereparentstalk.com/articles/just-for-moms/new-mom-breast-cancer...
We (parents and non-parents) can all be so politically-correct when we say "parenting is the most difficult job in the world" or "parenting is the only job that doesn't get paid" or whatever the popular phrase may be...but do we mean it when it really counts.
Will the federal government take the high road and give this poor woman the $6,000 she is seeking in sickness benefits as a result of being diagnosed with cancer just prior to her planned return to work after giving birth? OR will this poor woman have to battle beauraucracy as she fights for her life?
There must be some mistake here. It defies all logic.
The injustice is obvious. Hopefully sanity will prevail and the situation corrected for Natalya Rougas and her young family.
The larger issue is even more disturbing. How many thousands of women suffer from serious post-partum issues (physical, mental and other) that require them to apply for employment insurance sickness benefits, stemming from their maternity-parental leave.
The article notes that: "..sickness benefits don’t appear to be going to mothers who fall ill in the year following their deliveries, they say. Only expectant mothers who become ill about 15 weeks prior to their due dates seem to get the benefit."
Let's call it what it is.
Giving birth is a physical trauma (whether you have no contractions or a 35 hour labour). Giving birth is an emotional trauma (radical changes to the body, the family home, the couple relationship, sibling relationships, etc).
How in the world can anyone predict what will occur after a woman gives birth - how she's going to feel, how her will body heal, how she will react emotionally, hormonally, etc?
Studies have shown, for example that post-partum depression can occur up to and beyond ONE FULL YEAR after delivery. All of a sudden, one day the signs begin to show and a new mother who may have been happy to bits about her new addition is suddenly depressed or frustrated. Is this condition or situation not worthy of employment insurance sickness benefits? Who decides what post-partum condition truly is a sickness worthy of benefits and what isn't?
As a society, we need to focus in on what pushing a human being out of a body truly entails. Pregnancy, labour and delivery are all wonderful miracles occurring in a female body. That expectant woman, the mother-to-be, needs to be treated like a human being, not a machine. So too does that person's spouse, partner and other children.
Yes, there will be those who will abuse the system and get away with it. But there are many with legitimate reasons - like those of Natalya Rougas - where greater understanding and compassion are called for. We need to show it.
Posted May 16, 2010
By Andrea Howick www.whereparentstalk.com
Every year, a friend and I would do a massive clean-up of each of our houses. It occurred to us we could actually make a few dollars if we held a garage sale. And it seemed so much less daunting to do it with a friend. So for a few years, one of us hauled all of our junk over to the other’s house, got up the following Saturday at the crack of dawn and braced ourselves for the masses.
Now, back then, we both had somewhat corporate jobs. So much of the contents of the sale was clothing that no longer fit/or was out of style. I have to admit there was a fair amount of designer items to be had – more hers than mine I confess – but it was enough so that when our ad appeared in the local paper, there was a small contingent of shoppers that would turn up ready to buy our discarded designer wares.
Then over the years, something changed. We had babies. We stayed home. We didn’t buy designer duds. The bulk of our garage sales was now mainly tattered toys and outgrown baby clothes. I even remember one year, one of the bargain hunters used to the previous sales demanding “Where are all the good women’s clothes?” Gone, I’m afraid. Traded in for nursing bras and comfortable sweats.
I have to say, it’s a bit of a relief not to have the annual garage sale anymore. Of course the house still needs to be cleaned out regularly. Now the bags go to various charities. I hope someone can make use of their contents!
Share your garage sale stories with us. Do you have tips for making the most out of garage sales? Have you found great bargains? Become a member and let us know www.whereparentstalk.com
Posted May 11, 2010
By Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
My daily struggle as a parent is trying to figure out if what I'm asking my children is something they can understand for their respective ages. Is my request age-appropriate? Is a 12-year-old ready to handle the responsibility of using a cell phone (which was purchased for emergency purposes)? Can the 10-year-old comprehend putting away his clean laundry in a civilized fashion rather than rolling up various items and flinging them into his closet or piling them on his chair? Will the 6-year-old get it when I ask her to stop repeating or copying what her brothers say - especially the silly stuff?
On the one hand it's important to give anyone, especially kids the benefit of the doubt. In other words - make it a reasonable request and then throw it out there with consequences clearly stated and see what they do with it. It should teach them responsbility, accountability and problem-solving at a very basic level.
On the other hand, when they come back with something ridiculous, or illustrate their independence or defiance in a way that makes you cringe - then deal with it at that point. This is where the fun starts!!
My sister who is 4 years younger than me with 3 young boys, 2 years apart, once told me 3 simple words - DON'T ASK WHY. These are words to live by, believe me.
What she went on to explain made perfect sense and it's something both my husband and I try to follow - as hard as it can be.
When you ask you child WHY they did something or WHY they want something - what kind of answer are you truly expecting to get?
Whatever their answer is likely WON'T satisfy you - so DON'T ASK. For example - "Why did you take your sister's doll away from her?" The child responds. "Because she's funny when she gets mad and starts stomping her feet like a maniac." Hmm. Enraged button just went up a few notches. Problem is not solved. Irritation level is soaring. Questions about parenting failures start flooding the mind.
When you don't ask why you save everyone a lot of grief, especially yourself. Replace why with clearly stated consequences, followed by clearly stated repercussions and FOLLOW THROUGH. These are the hardest lessons to execute on as a parent, in my opinion, because kids can charm their way out of anything, and in the course of charming everyone forgets the original faux pas and suddenly there are no consequences and no accountability.
It may take a while to master, but once achieved it works like a charm.
Let your child ask the WHY questions of you - especially about things, people, places, actions - not the other way around, especially when they are very young. It will likely save you a ton of headache medication!!
Check out ParentTalk Radio for our podcast with Dr. Michael Ungar who talks about kids and responsibility: http://www.whereparentstalk.com/podcast/young-author-mission-nutrition-k...
Posted May 6, 2010
by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
So unique and so precious. A gift that is so difficult to describe to those who don't have it. It is impossible to explain weaving (safely!) through traffic to get to hockey practice on time, hurdling over grocery shoppers to get the cupcake essentials for the surprise birthday celebration at school, rummaging through mounds of toys to save that favorite blankie from a certain fate, leaping over piles of dirty laundry to find those gym clothes then racing to deliver them before class starts.
Why on earth do we put ourselves through this? Because we are blessed to feel unimaginable joy at a challenge overcome, pure and sweet pride at a lesson learned, frustration at the forgetfulness, anger at the deceit, exhaustion from the sleeplessness, and happiness at being the comforter, voice of reason, friend, giver of hugs, receiver of artwork made with little hands, confidante, and most importantly MOM.
I could never imagine life without my three angels. They have brought me more joy than I could possibly express. So blessed, so fortunate, I realize and am so very thankful.
To all you new, expectant and grizzled veteran moms out there - enjoy your day. Celebrate, reminisce, savour every second.
We'd like to celebrate with you with our Mother's Day Giveaway - a What to Expect When You're Expecting Gift Set complete with a Bringing Baby Home DVD. Simply become a member (it's FREE!) and you will receive your gift before Sunday May 9.
Happy Mother's Day!
Links:
Click here to become a member: http://www.whereparentstalk.com/why-join
Posted May 5, 2010
By Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
It is now official. The disclaimer is now not just relegated to G movies and above, various cartoons, the first 6 minutes of most newscasts, the last 2 minutes of most sportscasts, billboards, the internet, and other things I’m sure I’ve forgotten.
We have now officially added the front page of the newspaper to our list of things to keep out of reach of children (under 12). How ridiculous. My husband and I are news junkies. We cannot start the day without reading the newspaper from almost cover to cover. As a result of watching us over the years, our three children have followed suit. We are always wary of the front section of the newspaper and the litany of murders, sexual assaults, adultery, fraud and various other vices contained therein.
But when the headline of the paper reads, in size 28 font, something so crude that I will not repeat it here, we were both floored and disgusted. So now, we get to review the main section of the paper daily - quickly and hide whatever sections are not appropriate for children. Kids do not need to read this kind of stuff. We understand newspapers are struggling to be relevant in an increasingly online world, but show some sensitivity for goodness sake.
It further erodes the goal of getting kids to read – letting them read what they enjoy – which might just happen to be the newspaper. Why can’t we show some discretion in what is being printed, or at least save it for the last section of the last page. Whatever happened to childhood innocence – and trying to preserve at least some of that?
We started scanning the paper this morning, trying to recover from yesterday’s horror. Something else to add to that endless list of parenting duties.
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