by Lianne Castelino, www.whereparentstalk.com
It just so happens lately — pure coincidence – that I've met, been introduced to, bumped into people from all walks of life who had a longing to become parents or in some cases have another child after many years.
Every single one of these encounters has been absolutely powerful.
To listen to them describe their deep desire, loud calling or desperate need to have a baby is a gift. It makes me appreciate my journey into parenthood.
In one case a lady I was introduced to turned 40 and while disappointed that she had not found Mr. Right to have a gaggle of children with, she was not deterred. She summoned the strength and courage to research all possible options to have a baby. She placed an ad in the paper, researched alternative methods, and then settled on the choice that was right for her — single mom by choice. The stars aligned on so many levels for her til she was able to chosen to adopt a little boy from the United States. She was even present to witness his birth. Moving doesn't begin to describe this story. Those in the room were in tears.
In another case, an acquaintance, now 42, is scheduled to give birth in the next few weeks — even after her boyfriend left her a few months into her pregnancy after knowing and being comfortable with the situation. This lady is a mom of an 11-year-old, whose father took off when the baby was not even a year old. History has a cruel way of repeating itself sometimes, but this lady was not phased. She told me she always wanted her daughter to have a sibling. She looked at all her options — could not afford IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and finally found a route whereby she selected a sperm donor. She and her daughter selected all the features they wanted in their child/sibling online. They could not be more happy, although they will be alone —- again.
In another example, a friend of mine withstood ultra-sounds, several times a week to address a fertility issue. She underwent these multiple ultrasounds over several months til finally the doctors told her she was pregnant. She and her husband welcomed their newest addition almost 6 years after their first.
Then there is Lisa and Dan's story. Both longing to be parents. Lisa, with a burning desire from a young age, to be a mom.
While they tried other options, they ultimately decided to adopt. What a unique, emotional and powerful journey. They've been blessed with two angels, and could not be more ecstatic. The second baby came as an infant and so this couple were privileged to also experience the world through the eyes of a newborn baby.
I've always wondered why some people conceive/become parents so easily and seem to take that gift for granted, while others, those who really have to work at it, enduring the emotional roller-coaster that is adoption, artificial insemination, fertility drugs, etc., to arrive at their goal of having children — are so eternally grateful, overjoyed and thankful each and every day.
It's a powerful lesson that all of us can learn from.