Your Teen’s Attitude and You

Written by: Lianne Castelino

Published: Mar 9, 2010

by Andrea Howick

You were able to survive the terrible twos but what about the dreaded terrible teens? Dealing with your teenagers attitude can often seem like a never ending battle. The slamming doors, the rolling eyes and feeling like everything you say is just going in one ear and out the other. Experts say the key is respect, and setting clear expectations.

But why do teens seem to have this carefree I don’t care attitude?

Well, according to Dr. Paul Ciborowski, professor of counseling at the Long Island University says this is part of the stage of development they are in. He says teens are extremely egocentric, their first thought is almost always, “How does this affect me?” They are extremely influenced by the “me” factor and often have difficulty seeing things from another’s perspective.

We have compiled some do’s and don’ts with dealing with your teen:

DO get to the bottom of your child’s bad attitude. Often times, teens don’t know how to express their anger properly and will bottle up their feelings. What is going on that could be causing it? Are there troubles at schools? Find a good time to sit down with your teen and discuss, be sure to LISTEN and not judge.

DON’T take it personally. Your in the same boat with millions of parents of teens everywhere. It often probably feels like you are the only target of your child’s anger but by not taking it personally you won’t be acting defensively and closing the door to open communication.

DO remember that this is typical behavior for a teen. Parents need to emphasis the importance of respect. Teens should understand that if they have a problem they can discuss it with their parents, but they should be able to do it in a nice way.

DO set clear boundaries and remain consistent in dealing with your teen.

DON’T let your own emotions get the best of you. It can be very difficult dealing with a teen. But take some time before you react to your teen’s behavior if you need too, so you can remain calm and consistent.

Share with us your own experiences dealing with your teen. Do you have any more tips you could add? We want to know!

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