There will never be an answer to WHY? Not one answer that will justify the heinous act, not one answer that could possibly satisfy any one on the planet struggling to understand what would propel a 20-year-old boy to spray bullets through the bodies of helpless young children, gathered in a place where safety should never be questioned.

For more than two days now, I have dragged myself around with my soul carved right out of me — thinking about the horror those children and teachers faced, about the terrifying reality 20 parents faced when arriving at Sandy Hook elementary to discover their child would not be going home with them.

What is happening?

What makes a parent enjoy guns so much that they take their kids to a shooting range with them?

What propels a mother to keep guns in the house, with children in the same space?

What makes a school principal and school psychologist risk their lives, then lose their lives to save their children?

What kind of altercation sets of a 20-year-old to commit mass murder of the most innocent of victims?

What signs were there if any that went unheeded — to get Adam Lanza the help he clearly needed?

What sets people off to that degree?

Why do lawmakers NOT get it.  Guns KILL.  People with guns can become KILLERS.

How many more lives will it take to convey this message?

Twenty young lives snuffed out so callously, inexplicably, so savagely — what will those sweet, precious lives be worth in the end?

At the very heart of this story is a less ‘sexy’ symptom or potential cause of this mass killing – the breakdown of the family. From what is known, the killer did not react well to his parents’ divorce. His parents lived in different cities. His brother did not live with him. While none of this can be directly traced to Adam Lanza’s actions, it certainly contributed to the person he was who then decided to commit this unspeakable act.

When are we going to start prioritizing family again, giving parents the tools to succeed in their role as parents, empowering mothers and fathers with the critical responsibility of raising happy, healthy children.

Maybe Nancy Lanza was a model mother.  Perhaps Paul Lanza was a fabulous father. But their marriage failed, their family was broken and their youngest son driven to shatter the lives of 27 families and to send chills through the lives of many others.

We need to ask why, then we need to roll up our sleeves and fix it, because it hasn’t always been like this and it does NOT have to continue.